Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I'm a Dreamer

(written May 16, 2005 10:30 PM)

I'm a dreamer. I dream of things past, and things that might. I dream when I'm asleep, more so when I'm awake...Funny how one such movie about fantasies and not growing up can make me write again. But I have yet to find a good leather-bound book...

Two months is 2 long, especially for someone like me. Just this morning I asked my dad why I don't hear him sing often. I wondered how anyone could spend a day without singing. I couldn't. I was made for the arts.

But then I was also made for science. I seem to enjoy thinking. I guess it's becoming a hobby because migraine has been attacking the right half of my head lately. I have a love-hate relationship with questions. Have you ever felt uneasy when you can't find answers to your questions? Yet whenever you finally found your answers, they'll always lead you to some more, so you end up feeling uneasy all your life. My mom would know when I've been thinking too much once I get suddenly quiet and something flies out of my room. Do not, however, think that I'm getting mad, or something (that's only for writers). I don't push myself to something I can't do. I rest. I stop. Where my science ends, my religion begins.

I was made for religion. It's a wonder how some religious questions are answered by science and science by religion. Some people may be amazed by what joy they could get from harmonizing these two. I know someone who thinks I'm a happy person. I'd like to think I am.

Sadly, at this stage, no part of art, science nor religion goes in and out of me. I don't want this to go on any longer. I want my time back, so I could have dreams again...longer dreams. I think, no, I feel the need for intervention.



P.S. Finding Neverland was very good, except Johnny's fake British accent. I'm glad I've seen Kate Maberly again. She played Wendy. Another good movie was Kingdom of Heaven. But of course, something from the real history must be altered for Hollywood's sake. Orlando's best performance yet as a 'dramatic' actor.

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