Nostalgia for the old web

It is interesting how a health issue made me think of the things of the past. When I look back on my childhood, it is always the joy of simplicity that stands out. I felt nostalgic for simple times when we had less stuff; when people visited homes instead of restaurants to meet up; when we sent messages by mail or email and didn't expect instant replies. And in this age of social media, I especially missed the old web --- colorful and unique blogs and their lovely authors, hobby forums, GeoCities, ICQ, Yahoo! Messenger, and more.

And I found out I was not alone. When you google "nostalgia for the old web", there's a growing trend with several articles and Reddit threads written about it. It was last year that I read these two pieces:

• Why the Internet Isn’t Fun Anymore by Kyle Chayka
• I miss the internet: A love letter to webmasters and GeoCities by JA Westenberg

The website of Gavin DeGraw, one of my favorite singer-composers of the early 2000s, also looks like we're back in 2003, which is really cool. You should check it out!

 

Here's another one: google "GeoCities" and automatically the search results will be displayed in Comic Sans font.

Comic Sans font used on Google search results for GeoCities

 

Lastly, Miracoli Eucaristici, the website made by Blessed Carlo Acutis, along with his other web projects, is still up and looks to be in its original early 2000s design.

 

On health and peace of heart

I have never been comfortable being vulnerable, nor am I particularly good at expressing my feelings, but I wanted to talk about this at least once on this blog.

I’m one of those who developed anxiety during the pandemic. Although I have always been a nervous kid, I never imagined it could get worse. I’ve learned that I have become too comfortable with my way of life --- working from home, being surrounded by family, and having the comforts of life. I discovered I was weak, and that my faith needed some work.

2021 was brutal, at least for my nerves. We were flooded in April, and because of the damages, the family decided to elevate and renovate the house. I first noticed recurring palpitations and irregular heartbeat in June and had it checked.

In the following months, our living arrangement was, well, chaotic. It was not carefully planned before the construction commenced. And then it happened, I got covid in the last quarter of 2021, along with my sister. We were not allowed to stay in the house we were currently living in, but my sister was whisked off to a hotel managed by her employer while I had to go to a government facility. Our elderly parents were left to take care of the construction.

I really thought I would be fine because I was used to being on my own, but that was not the case. After a week inside the hotel room, I started having difficulty sleeping. I brought with me a blood pressure monitor and every day my bp and heart rate increased. Eventually, I started taking bp medicines. Because no doctor or nurse was allowed to see me, I asked to be transferred to a different facility, where nurses could monitor me and patients were allowed to go out of their rooms.

While inside the isolation facility, I also developed numbness throughout my body especially on the head, shoulders, and back, which made it even harder to sleep. It was only after I got out that I was able to get medicines to help relieve the symptoms...

Fast forward to today, I am still on my healing journey. While the world is back to normal, I lag behind trying to remember how it felt like before, trying to regain my health physically, mentally, and emotionally. But I have hope. I understand that events, people, and things that may make me nervous or scared will always be there. It is my inner disposition, how I react to these triggers, that is important.

Picture Jesus sleeping on the boat in the midst of a storm—an image of interior peace that can only be acquired through absolute confidence in God's providence. That kind of interior peace is my prayer for all of us. It may take us a lifetime to get there, but we don't have to worry about that, do we?

“It is not the exterior circumstances that must change; it is above all our hearts that must change. They must be purified of their withdrawal into themselves, of their sadness, of their lack of hope: Happy are the pure in heart; they shall see God (Matthew 5:8). Happy are those whose hearts are purified by faith and hope, who bring to their lives a view animated by the certitude that, beyond appearances to the contrary, God is present, providing for their essential needs and that they lack nothing.” ~ Father Jacques Philippe (Searching for and Maintaining Peace)

Help me pray for all people struggling with anxiety. May God grant us the grace to look forward with hope and wonder!

♡ Julienne

Love-hate Relationship

"Love-hate relationship," started kuya Alfer. That was his relationship with his mom. He told us in the most honest, uninhibited eulogy I have ever witnessed.

Love-hate relationship -- that is me and my parents. But mostly love... I hope. So when I heard kuya Alfer relate his story, I started to cry, although I tried so hard not to. That was the first time I ever cried in a funeral, and I couldn't even get out of the packed canopy tent to hide my face because of the sudden rainfall on a sunny afternoon. In our own language, when it rains while the sun is out, we say there's a "Pista sa Langit" (Feast in Heaven). And there really was a celebration in Heaven that day because it also happened to be Mama Mary's birthday.

After a short while, I could hear a few sniffles here and there. What a relief! I was not alone then.